Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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