my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
no, he came in my armpit
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
