I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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