I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
