3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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