to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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