i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
