you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
