I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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