Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
