I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
