i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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