I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize