I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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