If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
