we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
