So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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