addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
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Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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