is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
