"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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