you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
