Princesses don't give blow jobs
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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