Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
