She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I love you.
Bad choice
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
