i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
