Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
