he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
