Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We named our party play list daddy issues
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
