Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
