dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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