Whod you bang
I want to have your abortion
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
