my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
