a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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