my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
