she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
