Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
