Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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