Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
