About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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