he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize