Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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