He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
two words...techno handjob
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
