I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
