You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
