Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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