I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
