I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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