I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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