I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
