Plan B is the new Plan A
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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