It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize