fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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