just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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