I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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