After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
vagina is talking i cant
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
