Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
