we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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