Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
