I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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